Black and TTC? Choosing a fertility clinic safely

A surrogacy sperm mix-up raises important questions about donor sperm, consent and fertility clinic safeguards for couples trying to conceive.

When you’re trying to conceive, choosing a fertility clinic can carry so much hope. You’re looking for people you can trust with your body, your plans for a family and some very personal parts of your life. Naturally, you might start with success rates, prices and how soon you can get an appointment.

Those things matter. But I also want Black women and couples to ask: How will I be cared for here, and what safeguards are in place to protect us?

For me, that belongs at the heart of choosing a clinic. My approach at Auré is rooted in softer, holistic, culturally attuned care. That includes feeling emotionally supported, understanding your choices and having confidence in the people handling your treatment.

A difficult story, and an important reminder

A UK court case involving twins born through surrogacy in Sri Lanka has raised serious questions about consent and clinic procedures. The intended parents understood that the embryos had been created using donor eggs and the intended father’s sperm.

Testing later established that neither intended parent was genetically related to the children. Without the required genetic connection, they could not proceed with their application for a parental order. The court gave them permission to apply for adoption and made an order providing parental responsibility in the meantime. This is a deeply sensitive family situation. It also needs to be kept in perspective: one case cannot tell us what happens across fertility clinics generally.

What it does underline is the importance of clear consent, reliable procedures and accountability.

Patients should be able to trust those safeguards, and it's the clinic’s responsibility to make them work.

Asking questions can help you understand your care, but patients are not responsible for preventing a clinic’s mistakes.

Look beyond the success-rate headline

An impressive percentage can catch your attention, especially when you’re longing for some reassurance. But a clinic’s overall success rate cannot tell you exactly what your own outcome will be.

Results are influenced by the patients a clinic treats, including their ages and diagnoses. Small differences between clinics may also reflect chance. The HFEA explains these limitations alongside its clinic information. Ask the clinic to explain what its figures mean for someone in your circumstances. Then widen the conversation:

Who regulates the clinic, and can you read its inspection information?
What's included in the price, and what could cost extra?
How does the team explain treatment choices and risks?
What counselling and emotional support are available, and for how long?
Who can you contact between appointments?
How are concerns or complaints handled?

Think about the practical fit too. Can you manage the journey around work? What happens if appointments change? Will you have privacy when you need to take a call? These everyday details can make a difference to how supported you feel throughout treatment.

You should have room to be yourself

As a Black woman, I want our fertility care to make room for the whole of who we are. That means being able to talk about your health, family background, relationships, beliefs and concerns without defensive responses and assumptions being made about you!

If you’ve previously felt dismissed in healthcare (and let's be honest, who hasn't?), it's reasonable to want reassurance about how this team will listen and respond.

You might ask: “How do you make care responsive to Black and mixed-heritage patients?”If I feel that a concern hasn’t been understood, who can I speak to?”Can I access counselling with someone who understands the cultural issues I want to discuss?”

Pay attention to how the conversation feels. Are your questions welcomed? Do you receive thoughtful answers? Does someone check that you’ve understood? You shouldn’t have to make yourself smaller or quieter to receive respectful care.

Ask how your sperm, eggs and embryos are protected

Laboratory procedures may feel far removed from the personal experience of trying for a baby. But you are entitled to understand them. You can ask:

How do you confirm whose sample you are handling?
How are sperm, eggs and embryos labelled, tracked and stored?
What checks happen before fertilisation or embryo transfer?
How do you check that the planned treatment matches our consent?
How would we be told if an error or unexpected event occurred?

You don’t need to know the technical language. A clinic should be able to explain its safeguards in a way you understand. The same applies to paperwork. Ask for copies of what you sign and for any unclear wording to be explained.

Consent should feel like an informed conversation, with time for questions.

If you’re considering donor conception, your family’s identity matters too

Choosing donor sperm, eggs or embryos can bring up feelings that deserve care and space. For Black women and couples, that conversation might include heritage, skin tone, family resemblance, cultural identity and what you hope to share with your future child.

There is no single way that every Black family will feel about these things. A clinic should ask what matters to you. Consider discussing:

What information is available about the donor’s heritage and family medical history?
What screening has been carried out, and what are its limits?
What donor choices are available, and what are the realistic waiting times?
What information could your child access in the future?
What support is available for talking about donor conception as a family?

Under UK rules, most people conceived from donations made after 1 April 2005 can request identifying information about their donor from the HFEA when they turn 18.

Earlier donations and individual circumstances can differ, so ask which rules apply to the donor being considered. Having this conversation early gives you space to consider your future child’s needs alongside your own hopes.

Considering treatment abroad? Build support around the whole experience

There are many reasons someone might explore fertility treatment overseas. Whatever yours are, you deserve clear information and support with the practical and emotional decisions involved. The HFEA regulates UK-licensed fertility clinics; overseas clinics fall outside its regulatory remit.

Rules around donor information, treatment and family limits can also differ between countries. Before committing, establish who regulates the clinic, how you can access your records and what routes exist for raising a complaint. Ask about follow-up care too. Who will help if you feel unwell after returning home? How will information be shared with your UK care team? What happens if you need to stay longer than expected?

If surrogacy is involved, get independent specialist legal advice before entering an arrangement. UK guidance explains that becoming a legal parent can require a parental order or adoption, including where a child is born abroad. Your circumstances need individual advice.

Allow room in the budget for travel changes, accommodation and support, as well as the treatment itself.

If you’re choosing together, make space for both voices

You and your partner may focus on different things. One of you may want to begin quickly. The other may need more reassurance about the clinic, the costs or donor conception. Before a consultation, it can help to agree on your priorities and write down your questions together.

Afterwards, talk about what felt clear and what still needs explaining. Where treatment affects one partner’s body, their comfort, wishes and consent must remain central. And if you’re navigating this on your own, you can still build a circle of support around you—a trusted friend, relative, counsellor or practitioner who gives you space to think.

Care that holds more than your treatment plan

When we talk about holistic fertility care at Auré, we're thinking about how you are held through the experience. Your emotional wellbeing. Your relationships. Your cultural needs. Your ability to ask questions and make decisions without feeling pressured. A welcoming consultation matters, and so do the safeguards behind it.

Clear costs matter, and so does knowing who will answer when you’re worried. You are allowed to want all of these things.

You can feel hopeful about a clinic and still ask careful questions. You deserve a team that welcomes those questions and helps you move forward feeling informed, respected and supported.

Disclaimer: This article is intended for general information and educational purposes only and does not constitute medical, legal or fertility advice. Every fertility and surrogacy journey is different, and laws and regulations can vary significantly between countries and circumstances. If you are considering fertility treatment, donor conception or surrogacy, seek advice from an appropriately qualified fertility professional and, where relevant, an independent family-law specialist.

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